Monday, May 27, 2013

Chasing Rainbows: Part Two

Well, let's start with Part 2 doesn't have the fairy tale ending that I was hoping for...yet. Two days after my post on 4/29/13 I got my period early. My May 2nd appointment with my OB/Gyn wasn't my first prenatal appointment instead it was a discussion of what to do next which resulted in lab work being ordered: prolactin and TSH (Thyroid) and a 7 DPO progesterone reading.  As per my usual routine I started using Ovulation kits on cycle day 12 and got a positive on CD 14, which is 3 days early for me and in some cycles 9 days early. My Angel's due date, May 16 came and went and left me feeling a sense of closure. On May 16 a Facebook friend posted a scripture that just really hit home: Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (NIV). 
I went in and had my 7 DPO blood work and at 10 DPO I got the call from my OB's assistant; everything looks normal BUT my progesterone was 0.6 which is too low for me to have ovulated this month. She did stress that this doesn't mean that I'm not always ovulating, I have had 3 pregnancies so I have to have ovulated at least that many times. And then she started talking about clomid, ultrasounds, more blood work, sperm analysis for my husband, etc. When I received this call, I was in the car and my head was spinning. After handing up, I felt like my heart was as heavy as a ton of bricks. Clomid was not the path I wanted to be taking. An hour later I had to call my OB's office back because after hanging up the phone I then had a million and one questions. Unfortunately, none of them could be answered with that phone call and I will have to return for another appointment.
After a few days of consideration and research I've come to a couple of conclusions. One: Clomid is a last resort for me. I now know what the issue is, I know what to pray about and what I need to address. Clomid does not fix the progesterone issue, but yes I do realize that it may speed up the process. I have researched other natural ways of getting my progesterone levels back to normal. To include diet, exercise and herbal remedies. The good news with diet is that whole foods are recommended which is already part of my normal eating habits and is much easier to maintain during the summers in Ohio. And exercise is also easier with the nicer weather plus I learned how to ride a bike this spring and we have a 20 week old puppy who needs a good long walk frequently.
My second conclusion is that I'm realizing just how much of a miracle my son E is. For him to be conceived, and to have been a full term, live birth pregnancy is not only amazing. But for me to have gotten pregnant with him after 5 years of trying, not ovulating regularly and not having medical intervention is astounding. Praise God!
In my support group for the women who have lost our May 2013 angels, I posted this verse today: Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." However, I shared lyrics to a song by Josh Wilson called Before the Morning based on that verse; "The pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the JOY that's coming!" I felt that this verse held some importance to my current situation but I'm just not sure what exactly that meaning is yet.