Monday, June 10, 2013

Advice I would give my 25 yr old self about TTC, Miscarriage and Infertility

  • Join a support group. No really, do it. In 2012 you found one through Babycenter, after the loss of Tristan, and it has helped so much. You were left wishing you would have found one in 2003 after the loss of Jacob. Not only for your emotional help but because you have learned so much about fertility and how to advocate for yourself at the doctors. 
  • Be an advocate for your health. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let the Doctors tell you that you are too young to be worrying about infertility. Trying for over a year and not being able to get pregnant is considered infertility - whether you're 23 or 32. And it's 6 months of trying if you're over 35. 
  • Learn what they can test beyond just prolactin and TSH, those are the standard tests. I have a friend whose been through this, and she recommended getting my progesterone checked 7 days past a positive ovulation test. Therein lies my issue - progesterone, I'm not ovulating regularly due to low progesterone. Now that I know what's causing the issue, I know what I can do to increase my fertility. 
  • Because of your miscarriage, there is now a loss of innocence during pregnancy. When you do get pregnant in 2008 you are going to be a hot mess of worry. And it's ok to worry but your baby is going to be a great kid. He's now 4 years old and absolutely amazing. 
  • It is ok to announce your pregnancy early. You are a mommy the second that the pregnancy test turns positive. And after trying for 5 years you're going to want to shout it from the roof tops, enjoy. If you were to have miscarriage, it is nice to have the support of those around you. 
  • Not everyone will stand by your side, you may have friends who pull away. Grief is difficult to go through, and it's just as difficult to see. Many people do not understand the loss of a child and they expect you to "just get over it". 
  • Dad's grieve differently, but they've lost a child too. For B, that means going on 60 mile bike rides. 
  • You will learn to be happy for preggos.
  • People can say incredibly cruel things.
  • There is nothing you could have done to save Jacob or Tristan.
  • It was nothing that you did that caused the miscarriages.
  • Give yourself time to grieve. 
  • Some days are easier than others, and some days are really hard.
  • Miscarriage can happen again.
  • You are not alone

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Chasing Rainbows: Part 2.5

Ok, so I went back to the vampires and had my progesterone checked for a second time this cycle. I did this for a couple reasons; the first is that the morning before they called me with my results I decided to take another ovulation test and it was positive. Now, the process of trying to conceive can really make us crazy. And this has been a crazy month. I didn't mention this to the nurse when she called with my results because I just thought I was crazy. But when cycle day 28 arrived and I didn't get my period, and after talking with a few friends who have been through all this I called my OB's office and requested a second 7 DPO progesterone draw, with the assumption that I ovulated cycle day 23.

So why did I take another ovulation test after getting a positive on cycle day 14? Well, I honestly didn't believe that cycle day 14's results were correct. I've been tracking my ovulation for almost a year - except obviously the months that I was pregnant and then the month I miscarried; and in tracking my ovulation I have ovulated either cycle day 17, or if it's a stressful month I ovulated cycle day 23.  And after 6 months of trying, after my miscarriage, and using the cheapo ovulation tests I was sick of analyzing lines and decided to use one of the big fancy brands with a smiley face that flashes to let you know you're LH is peaking, and then another smiley for ovulation day. As usual I started testing on cycle day 13 and got a negative and then cycle day 14 I got a positive, but there was no blinky smiley face. I thought it was strange but I'd been using red raspberry leaf tea this month, so I thought maybe I was finally regulating my ovulation or something. I still questioned the results so I ran out and bought the cheapos again. I tested the next day and after staring at the lines I assumed it was a positive. But after my cycle day 21, 7 DPO progesterone draw came back so low and then I didn't get my period on cycle day 28, as I usually do, I started to wonder if the test was wrong.

Honestly, it was worth it to me to get the progesterone draw at cycle day 30, 7 DPO for CD 23, and get a full picture rather than jump immediately into fertility drugs. And if this comes back low again, then I will have to think on it some more.

UPDATE: I got my results back and I am now at 3.3. So I am now in the normal range but still very low. I was told that I want that number to be more like 5, at the very least. So my plan is; between now and August, I am going to attempt natural methods to increase my progesterone. That will include reducing stress, eating whole foods and a combination of herbs including; red raspberry leaf tea and supplement called Pregnancy Prep. If by August I am not pregnant, I will see my OB again for my annual exam and I will discuss with her other options, to see if there is an alternative to Clomid such as just progesterone.